December 2009
18 posts
You do win friends with salad!
Over at Viceland today, I explain the origins of this wondrous dish and how it made mommy and daddy love each other again. Psych! It did not. But at least it’s packed with yummy red and green nutrients.
Dec 31st
WatchWatch
Sundelles has been one of my favorite new bands in this noisy town for a minute, so I was psyched to get to write a feature on the guys. For happy garage pop dudes, they sure do like their Bauhaus. As a former (current?) Goth, I salute them.
Dec 31st
1 note
They made an electric chair for lobsters. That...
CRUSTASTUN! I have no words.
Dec 25th
Bash Compactor: Dark Days
If you don’t feel like reading the whole thing, this sentence pretty much sums it up: “I hate to say it, but I wish it could be the new Misshapes,” she chirped as she tweaked her iTunes playlist.
Dec 23rd
I think I have a new girlcrush. On Balk's... →
Why oh why can’t these emails be real? fek: (via alexbalk) Oooh, poor little WASPy trust-funder can’t handle a little black dildo! Oh no! Listen here, Fuckface, I don’t know how it worked before, but from now on I’m posting whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want and I don’t expect to hear jack shit from you except the occasional “Excellent work, Doree.” Got it? Don’t make me...
Dec 23rd
15 notes
Dec 21st
Dec 17th
On the perils of being a lady party reporter on... →
Dec 16th
It's baaaack.
From the people who helped you ruin your life January-April ‘09: The Shank 2.0.
Dec 16th
I am frightened and confused.
Jamie to [redacted] That restaurant sounds totally made up. Are you testing my scruples? You are sick, [redacted]. - Hide quoted text - On Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 3:35 PM, [redacted] wrote: would you consider giving up your veganism for the right food-writing job? we’re looking for someone to write up a new restaurant that only serves veal and endangered species. it could turn into a regular...
Dec 14th
1 note
Dec 13th
Christopher Hitchens is the grinch who stole...
Bah, Hanukkah: The holiday celebrates the triumph of tribal Jewish backwardness. Can’t I just enjoy the pretty candles and fried starches and weird reminder that I’m descended from superstitious peasants without having you take a big shit in my glass of Maneschevitz? No? Ok cool.
Dec 12th
If I ever go on a fancy date again, I want to go...
Cocoa V: vegan chocolate and wine bar! I want verrry badly to review it but I’m pretty sure I can’t now that I’ve scored a job at Blossom’s UWS location. On the other hand, that means I’ll have money to go there w/o reviewing (and get a discount, maybe?). To the inevitable naysayers: what could be fucking bad about chocolate and wine? If you’re gonna sincerely...
Dec 12th
Ok, you win. Your life sucks and I do not desire...
Received in response to my application to be a dog walker: Hello Jamie: A couple of questions for you Jamie… First of all I do not see that you have ever done manual labor outdoors… Let me tell you that this is not an easy job.  This am, we were out at 7AM in freezing rains and wind and it was misserable!!!!  I am afraid you have no concept of how awful it can be… I love walking...
Dec 9th
1 note
Dec 9th
1 note
Did I just break some food news?
I don’t know if it’s a secret secret or just a *wink wink* secret-you-whisper-to-reporters, but I’m pretty sure I’m the first person to report this bit of food news. The Post managed to scoop me on the fight, though. Fucking Jamie Schram. Why you gotta steal my name and my game? Anyway, here’s my scintillating celebrity chef bar fight edition of Bash Compactor, which...
Dec 8th
Is misogyny the new celebrity threesome...
So Hamilton Nolan at Gawker wrote a post yesterday touting how clever Spencer Morgan is for writing an article that’s a caricature of every fake trend piece you’ve ever read about Ladies Who Have Sex With Men For [insert goal here] And Are Therefore [insert age appropriate cat metaphor here], complete with quotes from all the writer’s buddies. It also includes a probable date...
Dec 4th
4 notes
I bet you think this post is about you.
diana-vilibert: 5. Avoid any girl who frequently blog about her sex life. You know how that one goes. [via johncarney’s Annual Guide to Holiday Romance] Or: Avoid men who live in constant fear that you will blog about their tedious performance in the sack. Have I cock-blocked myself forever by writing one silly Flavor of the Week? Whatever, it was worth it.
Dec 1st
13 notes